Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
