Umm I'm too high to move.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
