it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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