Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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