it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
