i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
