he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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