i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
