i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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