u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just forgot I was standing up.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
