so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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