I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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