Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
