Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize