If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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