It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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