that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
