So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
