I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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