I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
