Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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