you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize