I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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