spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize