And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize