It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
