My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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