can we get nightvision for the apartment?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
