Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
