How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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