Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
