Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
