wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
