Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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