I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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