you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
