Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
