Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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