I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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