seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize