I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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