doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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