the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
