if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
