haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
