Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
