White coat. Heels.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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