physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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