chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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