is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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