I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
