Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize