I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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