We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize