WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm at about main and main street
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
