I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
